On not giving up Ummeed (Hope)

I am sharing a story narrated by an Oncologist on how Positivity  helps people to overcome difficult situations. 

He had a very close friend, who was suffering from Lung Cancer.  His friend came to see him in his Consulting room.  On examination, he found that the condition was not so bad, though some damage had already been done to both lungs. His friend asked him about the state of his health. He told him there was nothing much to worry about and that his condition would improve with the treatment being given by him.  This kindled hope in the mind of his friend, who asked him, " Will I be all right?", to which he  answered, "Of course". 

After a month, the condition deteriorated because the Cancer had spread to both lungs. His friend asked him again, "Will my condition improve?"  He again said, "Have faith in God, confidence in Self and Do Not give up UMMEED (Hope)."

After two months, his condition further worsened because he was finding difficulty in breathing.  He repeated the same question,"Will I recover from this condition?" and the answer was the same,"Of course, why not? Have faith in God and do not give up Ummeed."

The Oncologist knew that the end was closer but he continued reassuring him about the possibility of his coming out of this grievous situation.  

After four months, the condition deteriorated to such an extent that the Oncologist could not hold back the truth. On being asked again whether he would recover, he had to tell him that his condition had indeed deteriorated. He, however, asked him to  continue to have faith in God and not to give up Ummeed,

The patient asked him, "Are you sure, I shall come out unscathed?" Now the Oncologist had no choice but to share the bitter truth with him, saying, "My friend, I cannot be unjust to you.  Though your  condition is indeed precarious, still continue having faith in God and Do Not give up Ummeed". 

The friend gave up 'UMMEED'. 

On reaching home, the Oncologist called up his friend and the phone was picked up by his wife.  He enquired about his state of health and the lady cried saying, "He is no more". 

As long as he kept on clinging to Ummeed, he lived.  The moment he lost Hope, the end came.

The message is loud and clear, "Have faith in God, confidence in self and DO NOT give up UMMEED.

Excerpt from my Autobiography, 'The Endless Learning Curve'

Both Sid and his twin sister, Simsim, are always interested in learning about India. They respect our heritage and its language, culture, religious rituals, and music. Their parents, too, have done everything they could to teach them about India. Fortunately, the cosmopolitan city of Houston offered all sorts of learning opportunities. That’s the best part about America these days. When I talk to Sid and Simsim, there are no cultural bridges to cross, no terms to explain. India is not alien to them. That gives me hope. Sharing stories from another era, steeped in an Indian ethos, wouldn’t pose a challenge at all. As I poured out my life’s unique moments, I could see a huge possibility of this evolving into a book that would interest many others besides my grand-kids. It’s about a journey that many people have made and will continue to make. I realized that quite a few things in my life chiseled my personality into shape. This applies to everybody. The unique elements of timeless, ageless wisdom in many of my life’s events cut across time and culture. Most of the challenges I’ve faced are universal. Each one of us has had to deal with them to some degree.......

 

Humor from Great Minds"   As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... " - Sir Norman Wisdom"   One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money. " - Edgar Watson Howe"   A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! " - Doug Larson"   A harmful truth is always better then..a useful lie! " - Eric Bolton"   When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. " - Erno Philips"   I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. " - Robert Paul"   We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. " - Phyllis Diller"   Laughter is the closest distance between two people. " - Victor Borge"   Start every day with a smile and get it over with. " - W.C. Fields"   Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. " - Will Rogers"    Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. " - Mickey Rooney"   Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison. " - Tim Allen"   I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. " - Woody Allen"   Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. " - Erica Jong"   Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. " - Elbert Hubbard"   Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. " - Wendell Johnson"   In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. " - Joey Adams"   I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. " - Henry Youngman"   Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born ? " - Benny Hill (Anonymous)

__._,_.___

.

__,_._,___

 

. Reactions and Response: Suddenly, a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. I wondered if this was the cockroach's response to all the glory that was spoken about it! She started screaming out of fear. With panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group got cranky to what was happening. The lady finally managed to push the cockroach to another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and threw it out with his fingers. Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering! Was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies. I realized even in my case then, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me. More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that hurts me. The Take-Away: The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded. We should not react in life, we should always respond. Reactions are instinctive whereas responses are always intellectual!!! (Anonymous)

WHY WE SHOULD NOT LOSE TEMPER

I have come across three incidents in my life, which changed my outlook. 

It was  the year 1986 when I was posted in Jabalpur. I went to my home town via Delhi.  I travelled from Jabalpur to Delhi by train and from there I had to take a State Transport Bus. While leaving Jabalpur, a friend of mine gave me a tin containing 5 kilograms of Pure Desi Ghee, which I was supposed to deliver to his daughter in Meerut.

At Delhi Bus Station, I was asked by the Bus Conductor about the contents of that tin. I told him that it contained Ghee for consumption and not for sale.  He asked me to pay Freight charges which amounted to Rs.10.  I refused to pay saying that this being a commodity for consumption, did not attract any freight.  He was not willing to accept my response.  Eventually, arguments ensued and I threatened him in an angry tone that I would not only not pay the freight but would also lodge a complaint against him for his high-handedness.  Arguments turned into a scuffle.  He slapped me on my cheek with his heavy hand and I virtually felt giddy.  Finally, I had to shell out Rs.10 and also felt insulted. Later on, I realized that I should not have lost temper and should have paid without any arguments and the ugly incident and insult could have been averted.

Another incident took place in 1994 when my son was posted in Vadodara.  My wife and I had gone to visit him and were to come back to Mumbai by the night train.  We reached the station and waited for the train. The Scheduled time of the train passed but there was no sign of the train.  We waited patiently but since it was already past midnight, I went to the chamber of the Station Master to enquire about the current status.  He did not have any answer and was evasive.  Following my entry, a large number of waiting passengers also entered the chamber and started shouting.  I continued arguing with the Station Master which encouraged the other passengers also to shout.  At one time, I raised my voice and asked the Station Master to provide me the Complaint Book so that I could register my complaint for the avoidable inconvenience.  He refused to give me the book.  This infuriated the other passengers  and one of them, in a fit of anger, pounded his table glass, which broke due to this act.  He charged me for this action and immediately called the police.  He handed me over to the police and they  threatened to arrest me for this misdemeanor. I pleaded not guilty but they were not willing to accept my explanation.  Meanwhile, the wrong-doer quietly disappeared from the scene leaving me high and dry.  I showed my identity card and explained my conduct to the Station House Officer, who reluctantly pardoned me and we were allowed to go.  The train arrived six hours late and eventually we reached Mumbai next evening.  Later on I introspected and realized that I should not have behaved in this irresponsible manner, which could cause unnecessary embarrassment.

The third incident took place in 2007, when my daughter was transferred from Mumbai to Hyderabad. I called a firm of Packers and Movers to pack up her household goods  and transport them to her house at Hyderabad on 'door to door delivery' basis.  It was agreed that they would carry the goods in the designated truck and would not change it in transit. Having delivered the goods to the Transporter, we left for Hyderabad by train.  As per agreed plan, the truck was supposed to reach two days later after we reached Hyderabad.  

We kept on waiting for 3 days and there was no trace of the truck.  I was getting restless because all household items were in the truck and it was difficult to manage the household without the goods having arrived.  I tried to call the contact person, one Mr. Sharma, who did not know the whereabouts of the truck. With great difficulty, after five days I could get delivery of the goods.  They were not carried in the designated truck but were trans-shipped in another truck.  The goods were damaged needing heavy repairs.  I complained to him but he was evasive in taking responsibility of the losses. 

One day I lost temper and shouted at him in a high pitch.  This resulted in my Blood Pressure shooting up.  One day when I was delivering a lecture I found that I had a double-vision, resulting in my seeing  a student sitting over the head of another student.  This is technically called 'Diplopia'. I consulted an Eye Surgeon and he opined that my eyes were okay but there was a problem in the brain.  Immediately, I was referred to a Neurologist, who, after conducting a MRI test, found that there was a small clot in my optic nerve, which caused the Diplopia. This clot was caused by sudden raise in my Blood Pressure. I was admitted to an ICU for a week to rectify the situation. One fit of anger could have cost me my eyes or caused Brain Hemorrhage, paralysis or even death.

These three incidents changed my outlook towards life and I decided not to lose temper, come what may.  My experience tells me that many problems can be solved by keeping our cool.  When we shout, the other persons start defending and they also raise their voices, resulting in pandemonium and sometimes avoidable scuffles, which can sometimes be dangerous. 

I have published my autobiography, 'The Endless Learning Curve - a Memoir of a Forever Curious Soul' through Notionpress.com.  It covers my life's story from 1940 till 2018.  It gives a vivid description  of India's partition in 1947 from the perspective of a seven year old lad, who actually travelled from Montgomery (now Sahiwal), in Pakistan to India, and actually experienced the trauma of riots, killings, rapes, massacres of multitude by religious fanatics. It further explains how we settled in the new environment, establishing ourselves afresh, after leaving our  birthplace.  How my family lost everything and we became paupers.  I started working in an Insurance Company in India at the age of 15 just to support my family.  I had just cleared my Tenth grade when I took up the job of a Stenographer with a princely salary of Rs.95 p.m. (A little over a Dollar) and struggled hard to cross the barriers to reach one of the top positions in Life Insurance Corporation of India, in 1997.  I retired as a Zonal Manager after securing 8 positions in a span of over 42 years.  

The book is available with Notionpress.com both in paper back and e-book as also with Amazon.in, Kindle, Amazon.com.  It has received rave reviews (all 5 Stars) from 35 readers globally.